Fallen Angel - NOX

He has long forgotten how old he is or what is his real name. He only knows one thing and that he is a fallen angel. He can’t remember why he became one. He tried remembering but to no avail. It does not matter now. It has been like that for the longest time.

His pristine white wings beat in the air as he lands his feet to the ground. White. He is the only fallen angel who has white wings. All fallen angels have black wings. Black; like the darkness of the night, like their former souls corrupted by sins and the nothingness of space.

“Hello there Nox. How was your patrol?” Midnight, a bald-headed, dark-skinned fallen angel asked him.

Nox runs his hand on his chestnut colored hair saying, “The usual.”

“How many lost souls did you reap?” Midnight inquired.

“About 30″ Nox answered.

Midnight sighed and said, “That’s half of your quota and the day hasn’t started yet.” he looked up the sky and continued, “More and more humans succumb to the darkness. Why do they kill themselves just like that?”

Nox closed his eyes and answered the seemingly rhetorical question, “Perhaps they feel forgotten and unloved. Just like us.”

A loud buzzing sound is heard, Midnight spread his black wings adorned with piercings and said “That’s the call for the second patrol. I’ll be taking your post now.”

“Should I say have fun?” Nox asked smirking. Midnight merely chuckled and flew away.

⧪⧪⧪⧪

“I’m sorry Anda, but it’s over. I just don’t love you anymore”

Those words still rang in her mind. Tears were streaming down her pale cheeks, pouring out her sapphire eyes. Her long platinum-blonde hair is sloppily pulled back to keep it from falling on her face.

She grudgingly wiped her tears away with her hands.
“Fuck you Ray! Fuck you and your stupid ego! Fuck you!” she muttered angrily.

She sat down on her bed grabbing a pillow and started pounding her fist on it.

“Damn you! Fuck you! Go to fucking bleeding hell! You, you bastard!” she cried. When she got tired of the pillow, she grabbed her alarm clock and threw it at the window.

The sound of breaking glass echoed through her painful sobs of anguish. Amanda Schwarz never felt so miserable. At the age of 25, she has her own apartment, has her own car, and earns more than an average employee a month. You can say she’s much fulfilled. Except that her love life has become tragically similar to those clique breakups where your partner falls out of love and started loving someone else.

Ray Mario Sanchez, a Spanish-American broker whom she met on a night out with her friends. There’s no need for courtship, for they both knew they are on to each other. Anda, as her friends calls her; prioritize Ray next to her job. Unfortunately, Ray always prioritizes work first. Anda understood of course, earning money is essential and building your career has always been Ray’s top priority. They were both career oriented. Despite that, they were able to do what normal couples do.

“I just don’t love you anymore”

How can Ray not love her anymore? Anda cannot comprehend Ray’s reason. She thought that she was a good girl friend. She was caring, loving and despite being a career oriented person, she took the time to meet Ray’s need as a boyfriend. She is not perfect of course. She is moody and downright annoying sometimes.

“Is there another?”

Ray never answered that question. But his eyes when he looked at her, Anda knew the answer. Ray has fallen in love with another girl.

“Who is she Ray?”

“There is no she, Anda.”

“Bull shit! You are lying!”

Ray is not the first man in Anda’s life. Also, she is not some dumb blonde. She is not stupid. She knows if someone is lying to her. Ray is lying.

“Look Anda, I am sorry-“

“No! You are not sorry! You are not fucking sorry.”

Ray just left a couple of minutes ago. He took his things that he left behind in Anda’s apartment. It was just like that. Their 5 year relationship was no more and she doesn’t know where it went wrong.

“Goodbye Anda”

Goodbye Anda. Those were Ray’s last words to her before closing her door; before leaving her to her misery. Goodbye.

Goodbye Anda indeed.

Anda found herself standing on the ledge of her window. At the back of her mind, a small voice is telling her that she’s not thinking straight.

There’s nothing straight. Nothing. Everything’s crooked and twisted. Anda looked around to see more buildings. She’s on the 30th floor and by god that is high. She looked down and could see a rooftop of a building.

“Jump there…” Anda muttered.

And she did.

⧪⧪⧪⧪

Nox stared at the empty rooftop. It has been the headquarters of most fallen angels. Since the building was built, fallen angels have been gathering there. It’s usually crowded at this time but today, he is alone.

Nowadays, less and less fallen angels go there. Maybe because of the 40 floored apartment complex built right in front of it. The fear of being seen has always been a trait of fallen angels. They’re not beautiful like the holy ones. They are impure. Nox has been pondering this for a very long time now. Why he doesn’t have that fear? Even Midnight has that fear and Midnight is one of toughest fallen angels he knows of. His wing piercings tells a story of his past. A very gruesome and dark unknown past; nevertheless, the idea of to be seen by mortals, scares him so.

Nox thinks, perhaps because he is different. Physically, he is different. His wings are white, he likes mingling with mortals even if they cannot see him. He likes observing them whereas the others are content of ignoring them unless they are about to commit suicide.

He is probably, he thinks, the only fallen angel who is curious of his past. Fallen angels don’t care about their past. They don’t care because they fear who they were before. What have they done to commit such punishment, to be a fallen.

To be a fallen, is not something to be proud of. It means you did something terrible in the eyes of God and thus you are kicked out of heaven and have to stay in limbo. Not hell, but limbo.

Mortals think that fallen angels go to hell where evil and corrupted souls are. Well, they are wrong. They don’t. If they do get sent or kicked to hell, they are ripped out of their wings and they became daemon or demon if you will.

Nox looked up to the apartment complex seeing people looking at their windows staring at the rooftop he is standing upon. No one seems to see him.

Speaking of being seen, right now he could see a body falling towards him. A body. Falling.

“What the – ”

The body crashed onto him knocking him down. A body falling down like that would have died. This one didn’t.

“You caught her fall, rather you broke her fall”

Her. The person who fell on him is a woman.

Nox had the body off him and had it lying on the cemented floor. This woman just committed suicide. Or did she?

The woman’s eyes stirred, it looked straight at him and asked, “Am I dead?”

“Far from that.” He answered back.

Wait.

She can see him. They’re not supposed to be seen. The constant hiding and moving away, the ability of making themselves invisible to the human eye is not for nothing. They do not want to be seen.

“You can see me.” Nox whispered audibly enough for the girl to hear him.

“Yes, that’s why I ask if I’m dead. You have wings; I presume you’re an angel.” The girl replied her eyes boring into him.

“I’m not that kind of angel”

“Oh… what are you then?” she asks.

Nox frowned and said, “Look. Aren’t you a bit scared? I’m not human, you jumped from a 40 floored apartment trying to kill yourself and now you’re casually talking to me? Wait, did you jump? Or someone pushed you?”

The girl, slowly got up and carefully seated herself and said, “I jumped. I think. I think I jumped.”

“Why?” Nox asked.

After asking that, Nox mentally wanted to slap himself. Why? What would he ask that? Does it matter? He never asked a suicidal why before and why is he starting now?

“Because I hate my life right now that’s why I jumped. The pain I am feeling is so unbearable is just way too much, I can’t… I just can’t…” she rambled waving her hands nonsensically in the air. She stopped and took a deep breath and exclaimed almost shouting, “You know, I should be dead right now! Why did you save me?”

“I didn’t! You fell on me. I broke your fall woman!” Nox explained looking irritated. He never saw a suicidal like this. She is weird.

“I have a name. It’s – ”

“Miranda Schwarz. Anda for short. You’re a Supervisor in a computer gaming company. You live in that apartment building, 30th floor. Your boyfriend just broke-up with and because of that you think your life sucks, so you jumped and you are supposed to be dead right now but you are not.” Nox rambled making that had Anda gaping at him.

Anda gulped and said, “I am dead and you are an angel!”

Nox rolled his eyes and said, “You are not dead and I’m not an angel.”

“Fine. Then what are you? A winged psychic?” Anda demanded sarcastically.

“I’m a fallen angel. We patrol the cities reaping souls of people who committed suicide or what we call lost souls.” Nox explained.

Anda slowly got to her feet saying, “Then why haven’t reaped my soul?”

“I can’t. You didn’t die! Don’t you get it? You are not dead! If you badly wanted me to reap your soul, why don’t you jump again and die.” Nox exclaimed in a frustrated manner.

The answer he gave made him cringe internally. He is not supposed to say things like this. He is not supposed to be having this discussion with a mortal. He should have flown away. He should have ignored her.

“Jump again? Like that’s easy…” Anda replied as she slowly got up to her feet.

“Well you just did it”

“I wasn’t thinking straight!”

Nox sighed and said, “Fine. Now go back to your apartment. The other fallens will freak knowing and seeing you talking to me.”

“Why?”

“We’re not supposed to be seen! Now, leave!” Nox exclaimed reaching the zenith of his patience.

Anda sat down again saying, “No.”

Nox stared at her in disbelief. Anda bit her lip and said, “I don’t want to be alone at the moment. I might do something crazy again.”

“Uh-huh” Nox exclaimed crossing his arms.

“You are no help!” Anda replied exasparated. She carefully looked at the not-angel being standing beside her. Everything about his appearance screams inhuman. She should be running away in fright but she is not. It’s like her brain stalled and is not logically thinking at the moment.

She took a deep breath and asks, “Do you have a name?”

Nox frowned. Will he dare tell his name to this mortal? Maybe yes. The day is getting weirder and weirder for him. For whatever reason, this is happening. Beings like him don’t dream but he might as well be dreaming.

“Nox. They call me Nox. It’s not my real name.” Nox answered not bothering to look at her.

“What’s your real name then?”

“I forgot. We don’t really care for it. Besides, I can’t really remember my past.” Nox replied looking upwards.

Anda smiled ruefully and said, “That’s sad.”

Nox nod his head and said, “True but what I think is sad, is that humans like you kill yourselves because you cannot take the pain that this world offers.”

A pang of guilt washed over Anda, her gaze lowered down and muttered, “You say like it’s easy…”

“I never said it was. I didn’t even mean it that way. God made tribulations to test your kind. We also have those.” Nox explained. “Even if I don’t remember why I became a fallen angel, I know I must have failed on something. But God gave me a chance, so here I am. ”

Anda stood up and demanded, “If that’s the case, why can’t God give a chance to those who committed suicide?”

“He does Anda. If not, you won’t still be alive.” Nox pointed out making Anda’s eyes swell with tears. He stared at those tearful eyes and said, “Live your life Anda. Don’t waste this chance.”

He then stretched his arm, offering his hand for Anda to take. As, Anda takes his hand; she felt her tears falling down and her body being lifted up to the sky.

⧪⧪⧪⧪

Midnight raised his eyebrow slightly at Nox. His fellow fallen is looking at the apartment complex that stood in front of them.

“What’s so interesting?” he asks.

Nox sighed and said, “It may sound weird… no, it is weird and very unheard of but I want to remember why I became a fallen.”

This reply made Midnight shook his head saying, “You have to work yourself up to the heavens then my friend.”

Nox smiled. He could remember the parting words Anda told him as he bid farewell. “Thank you Nox, I hope we see each other again because I want to return the favor.”

“Favor?”

“I want to help you. I want you to remember your past, your real name.”

“That would be impossible Anda.”

“Nope. God gave me a chance to live again. He gave a chance to a former angel like you. In that case, it’s possible. We just have to work ourselves up to the heavens I guess.”

Midnight gave a confusing look at Nox’s smile. Nox pat his friend at the back saying, “Yeah, I will work myself up to the heavens Midnight.”

Nox then spreads his pearly white pristine wings and thought “I’ll see you again Anda.”

⧪⧪⧪⧪

END